turning another page

I think I’ve spent a little too much time with MJ lately. I feel this desire to be close to her again, and she is not receptive to that. She’s moving tomorrow, with one of her teenage friends from the neighborhood. They’re moving into an apartment together. It will be their first time living away from home—being out on their own. I’m excited for them. I remember that time in my life. It was terrifying and exciting too. I would even go back to that, because I loved my freshman year in college.

I wonder if I will visit them. I can’t really see that happening more than once. I see myself going there, just to see where it is, just to see what it’s like, and then never again. Unless I’m invited, I guess. I said to her today, “Let me know when you’re moved in, and I’ll come and see it.” And she said, “You can come anytime. That’s what I tell everyone.” Which of course translated to, “You’re not anything special. You may come and go as you like, just like everyone else.” Great. So I won’t be visiting. But it would be awkward anyway. Why does someone like me need to be hanging out with college-age kids?

Sometimes I miss the way it was with us. But of course I really don’t.