juvenile

Turns out codependency makes you pretty selfish, because all you tend to think about is how much you hurt and how much change hurts. You just feel like a martyr.

I was reading some of MJ’s journal entries last night, from last year. She was so frustrated, so conflicted, and so lonely in her distress. I imagine she shared them with me so that I could see how she was feeling. It makes me feel bad now, because she’s happier these days, with her changes. She’s found some direction and some peace, and I should feel so happy for her. Except that she has me to deal with. And she’s been so patient and kind and considerate. I should feel nothing toward her except gratitude. She’s being the mature one now.