things people ask me

Do you date?

I do. I go out with guys on occasion. The last occasion was this one. I go out with girlfriends (friends who are girls) more often. I went out, on a date, with a girl once. That was a mistake. The last few times I have gone out with guys was when a friend set me up, which is fine. I don’t mind it. But for me, dating is awkward. It’s hard for me to relax and have fun, but I do try. And I haven’t given up completely. I sort of feel the same way Amy does about it.

Do you want to get married?

Because I have faith in God, I know that he has a plan for me. I know he has blessings waiting for me that he will grant in his own time. I’m pretty sure that one of these blessings is a happy and fulfilling companionship with a man. I hope to be able to be in the right place at the right time so that he can grant it. So sure, if my Father in heaven knows that I can be happy with a husband, and he wants to place me in the way of finding one, I’m willing. I’ll trust Him. I realize it won’t be easy to accept or to commit to, but I will try. With His help, I will succeed.

Do you see yourself married someday?

Yes, I actually can see that. I’ve pictured it, and it seems nice.

Do you make yourself available?

That’s an interesting question, because it depends on what the inquirer means by making myself available. When I was in my teens and twenties—even 30s—I did all of the things one is “supposed” to do if she wants to find a husband. I went out with groups of friends of mixed gender, I attended social things, like church and school and parties. I tried dances, formal events like Homecoming, taking the reins and asking the guys out myself, LDS singles wards, singles conferences, singles web sites, flirting, accepting blind dates...you name it, I might have tried it (as long as it stayed within the boundaries of my morals). I didn’t stick my head in the sand or wait for Prince Charming to ride up on his white stallion. I didn’t lock myself in my room. I was quite social. I’m not so much anymore. I suppose all that activity gets old after a while. At least it did for me. I still do things with friends, and I talk to people in the grocery store, and I work side by side with the men in the temple every week, and go to church on Sundays, and to church activities. So I think I’ve made myself available, but I have never worn a T-shirt that reads “I need a husband.” Maybe I need to get one.

Have you ever passed up an opportunity to be married?

No. I could have secured myself a boyfriend by pretending I could feel what I really didn’t feel and by losing a good friend who had a mad crush on him, but I didn’t do it. No one has ever been close enough to me to propose and be serious about it.

Are you happy?

Depends on the day, but yes, for the most part. I love my family and I’m glad I have them. I love my medication. I love the gospel. All three contribute to my happiness. I’m not the kind of single LDS girl that sits and wallows in the misery of not being married while belonging to a church that’s all about marriage and family. I have a family, and I have lots of children. I don’t have everything I want, but who does?