Thursday, May 21, 2009

the stalker girl

All right, so you want to know the story of my stalker, eh? I really was not fishing for interest. It just freaked me out seeing her here in my small town.

To be truthful, the whole thing was my own fault. It was several years ago. I was playing around on singles sites and one day, just for fun I clicked on the “women seeking women” link… I know it was stupid. But I wasn’t getting anywhere with the guys, right?

So along comes this pretty, voluptuous Brazilian girl who bites my bait. We chatted online and she wasted no time in setting up a meeting. Dinner in a crowded restaurant. Harmless, right? But I did debate with myself about it. I wrestled, in fact. But in the end, harmless won. (It seems to be one of the devil’s most effective tools with me.) I thought, what’s the worst that could happen?


Dinner was…weird. I kept waking up to what I was really doing there, and it scared me. But she was nice. And interested. There was a little bit of a language barrier, and the restaurant was loud, so we didn’t get a lot of conversation accomplished, but we ate. I don’t remember who paid. I think she did (bonus!). I was not wildly attracted to her. When we finally walked outside, I had had my “girl date” experience and I was ready to go home.

But she suggested we go for a ride. I know, I know, major red flag, right? But I was curious. I thought I could handle myself. I won’t go into detail about what happened. It’s just repulsive to me now. But I finally convinced her that I was going home. Alone.

We had exchanged cell phone numbers in arranging to go to dinner, just in case one of us got lost. In hindsight, it makes sense to do that. But she kept the number. She also had my email address. She called the next day, wanting to get together again. But after what had happened in her car, there was no way I was going to subject myself to that again. I tried to explain to her that I was not interested. You know how these things go, when someone doesn’t want to hear what you’re telling them. I stopped taking her calls.

Later, I had to add her phone number to my contacts so I knew who was calling. She called every few days. She sent flowers. She sent email messages. Sometimes they had pictures attached, and you can imagine the kind of pictures they were.

Anyway, she finally gave up after about six months. Persistent!


  1. It looks like you left out the most interesting part. But . . I can understand some things are hard to share in public. One of my experiences with Emalee, for example. Very strange (and very difficult to describe in words (it just sounds worse than it was in real-life no matter how you describe it)). On one of my appointments (now granted this was an appointment where I showed up acting a little strangely myself - so maybe I should have expected her to act weird in return). But she tried some kind of therapy (i have NO idea what it was.) I'm sure she meant well. But to have someone more or less breathing down the front of your shirt (on purpose). [I told you it sounds worse than it really was. It really wasn't horrible or anything. just unexpected. to say the least] Anyway.. Yeah. Pretty d**m weird. I don't know what that was supposed to accomplish.
    You gotta be careful with some of these 'alternative' therapies....
    And (for all you physicians who may read this someday) - always tell your patients what you're going to do *before* you do it. I still have no idea what she was doing. (yeah it totally sounds worse than it was. but it is very hard to describe).
    Thanks for sharing, Alex.

  2. Have you noticed your 'word of the day' today? "slog" I noticed this morning (at 2am). That doesn't sound like a real word to me. ...

  3. Sounds like quite the predicament.

    I have personally never had a stalker - and to be honest - you make it seem so unappealing. I used to think it would be slightly cool.

  4. i'm still just waiting for mine.

    i had to comment because i cannot tell you HOW MANY TIMES i have gotten myself into some sort of trouble or predicament because i figured it would be 'HARMLESS'--i am queen of that word. but we can share the title....

    no more brazilian hoochies for YOU.


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