anonymity

I consider it a blessing that in the blogosphere we can be anonymous. It allows us to say what we normally wouldn’t say. It prevents us from making assumptions based on appearance. I try not to make assumptions based on what someone looks like, but it’s hard not to.

Years ago I worked in a large company, in the purchasing department, so I spoke to vendors everyday. Very often it was the same people day after day, because we bought a lot of software from a few select companies. When you talk to somebody that much, you’re bound to get to know them a little bit. I remember there was one woman in particular that I spoke to every day without fail, because I loved talking to her. Even when I had nothing to order from her, I called to chat, or she called me. I grew to not only enjoy our conversations, but I loved her voice. She was a Texan, born and bred, and she had the cutest little drawl. I was enamored by it. I imagined she’d make a great radio personality.

Due to my overactive imagination, at some point I began create a picture of this woman in my mind. Based on her voice, I gave her a particular complexion, features, hair color and body type. You can imagine something long enough that it becomes what you believe.

Then came an opportunity to meet her in person. We had become good friends. The companies we worked for had a good working relationship. She was temporarily transferred to another office near where I happened to be visiting, and I took the chance to stop by and introduce myself. I wanted it to be a surprise. And it was.

I don’t remember exactly how it went—I’d have to consult my journal from that time—but I was woefully disappointed. The physical person connected to this fascinating and beautiful voice that I had fallen in love with was not at all what I imagined her to be. She was not outwardly attractive. I wanted to close my eyes as I sat and talked to her, just so I could hear her voice and conjure up what I envisioned instead of what I was actually seeing.

I may have been more shallow back then. I know I worshipped physical beauty a lot more than I do now. Maybe I just enjoy the mystery of things, but I get a kick out of anonymity. Feel free to now express how self-conscious you feel. :)