wolves

There's this old legend you may have heard before. I read it once and it has stayed with me. If I sound like one of those people in testimony meeting who's always repeating the same stories, please allow this one Velveeta moment. It goes something like this:

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Now, my point. Rachel emerged sometime in 1998. She didn't always exist; she sort of grew to life size by feeding off of the scraps I threw to her. I believed they were harmless scraps -- a movie here, a story there, a fantasy written out. She had this enormous appetite. It was hard to keep her satisfied. In fact, it was nearly impossible, and much easier to keep feeding her until she was stronger than I ever intended her to be. Until I became her. At least in my mind, because of course she was much too dangerous and shameful to me to expose.

So there's some wisdom in this old legend, and in the old notion: "You are what you eat." Think about it.