realization

I think I’ve turned another corner in my mortal journey. I really don’t know how it could have been avoided, but I realize now that I became too emotionally dependent on MJ. It’s not like I didn’t understand this before, but the difference is, now I realize it was not right. Now I realize what I should have done and how I should have behaved. There was a better way to have handled her desire for attention. It would have been better for both of us if I had stayed her mentor. Instead I became more like a girlfriend. I jumped at an opportunity to have someone to love, and I don’t think that was even what she was looking for. I don’t know, exactly, what it was that she was looking for, or what it is that she’s still trying to find, but if I had stayed the adult in the situation—the advisor, the confidante, a friend—things would never have happened like they did. I would not have suffered like I have.

So, I guess if I ever come across another young person that needs someone to listen to her/him, I’ll know what to do differently.