Wednesday, December 31, 2008

goal-setting...according to me

I want to be clear. I do not think that I suffer from any form of BPD. Because I have been exposed to those who suffer from BPD, I think I have some learned (and maybe genetic) tendencies to that behavior. My mother suffers from a disorder—of that I am sure. But she is getting help, and she is improving, so I see that improvement can happen. Change can happen, if people want to change. I can change. I am able to change especially because I am able to recognize what needs to change. It might take me a while to figure it out, but eventually I do, and then I can decide to change it. I am not stuck in a hole with no way out, even though sometimes that’s how it feels.

Many years ago I gave up on setting goals. I don’t think it was because I failed to reach them, or got overwhelmed and decided to quit. I accomplished some. I think the reason why I quit is because I set goals based on what I thought I should do, not on what I wanted to do. I knew I should pray and read the scriptures every day, so I made a goal to do it, but simply making it a goal did not motivate me to pursue it. I think what motivates people is desire, not obligation. If you want something badly enough, there’s a way to obtain it. So maybe as I consider this new year, I will think about what it is that I really want, and set my goals around those things.

Of course there is a spiritual aspect of goal-setting that I cannot help but mention, because I believe it. I do think that in really determining what it is that we want, we also have to consider what God wants for us, accepting that He knows better than we do what will make us happy.

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