Tuesday, February 09, 2010


So you may have noticed I haven't been writing much. I feel the need to maybe explain why. For the first time in almost five years, I am not on any medication. I really like that. And yet, I wonder if I still need some. I have gained some weight back. I have a difficult time waking up in the morning, even though I’m getting enough sleep and I’m exercising. My motivation feels like it’s at an all time low. And yet I don’t really feel depressed. I just feel like there’s something that I need. But I don’t know what it is. And I don’t think my family physician knows either. The Prozac didn’t seem to make a dent. It really seemed like I was taking a placebo.

My mind feels scattered and unfocused. It’s hard to say what I want to say, with my voice. My mind has always been better at writing than speaking, but lately my tongue feels disabled. I don’t like that feeling.

A family friend, one who I can love and hate with equal intensity, doesn’t seem willing to help me anymore, and I don’t blame her at all. She did way more than anyone expected, getting me on Zoloft in the first place and helping me through some difficult times. But I know she has her own family to take care of. She did refer me to a doctor who is a behavioral health specialist, so he might be far more helpful than my family physician in prescribing me medication. I’ve been thinking I ought to call him and see if he’s accepting patients. If he isn’t, then now just isn’t the time, I guess. If he is, then maybe that’s what I need to do next.

Just thought you'd like to know.


  1. ah, try homeopathy! or something like that. It's really fun. You should give it a go ;D

  2. :( I have missed your posts.

  3. keep plugging along. I'm also sans meds and have been since august. Bad days are oh so bad, but the good days are better. I got tired of living in the grey area. Homeopathy is a good option IF you find a good practitioner. It didn't help me, but I think it was a dosing issue. I have come to accept the "something's not quite right" feeling and work around it. There aren't meds out there to take it away. Not for me, anyway. Believe me, I've tried most of them.

  4. I am sorry you are having a tough time. Maybe therapy, in addition to the correct meds, would or could be helpful for you? Have you ever tried Effexor XR? Or, Cymbalta? Are you able to sleep alright? And, I am also sorry your family friend, who has been a support to you in the past, is one that you feel is no longer a support- that can be very painful.

    Good luck as you try to sort through all of this. slp

  5. What made you decide to go off?


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