Tuesday, July 07, 2009

proposition 8

I know this is a touchy topic. I realize I'm entering dangerous ground. But I feel like I have to stand up for what I believe. I know that what I write may not be well-received by some, but I still need to say it. Not because anyone asked my opinion; just because I need to. It may be popular to stand with what seems like the majority right now, but popularity was important to me in high school. I'm more in pursuit of respect these days.

I am a firm believer that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God, and is the only type of marriage that He sanctions. Despite dealing with same gender attraction (which I also experience), there are many opposite gender couples that manage a successful marriage and enjoy full activity in the LDS church. That's where I want to be. I think I could be happy there. I hope I could be. I don't ever want to be without the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or its culture. Sure, there are a lot of messed up people in its ranks, but that is my home, and I love so many of the people. But I love the Savior more, and it is His church and His kingdom on the earth. That's where I want to be found when He decides to visit the earth again.

Sometimes, seeing the ground that the gay advocates have gained is discouraging. But I like this quote I found on another blog: "The depressing feeling of inevitability is precisely what advocates of gay marriage want to instill in their opponents. But rely­ing as many do on historical determinism—'Side with us because we're going to win' — suggests that gay marriage advocates have run out of arguments. It also demonstrates historical amnesia. Arguments from historical inevitability have often been assumed by millions—to take two examples, the inevitability of Communism and the death of religion—and yet have proven to be wrong." That reminds me of these verses from the Book of Mormon: "Now it is not common that the voice of the people desireth anything contrary to that which is right; but it is common for the lesser part of the people to desire that which is not right; therefore this shall ye observe and make it your law—to do your business by the voice of the people. And if the time comes that the voice of the people doth choose iniquity, then is the time that the judgments of God will come upon you; yea, then is the time he will visit you with great destruction even as he has hitherto visited this land (Mosiah 29:26-27, emphasis added).

I live with children (six of them), I teach children, and I love children. My belief in the traditional family is based on this love I have for children. I believe that each one of them born into this world deserves both a father and a mother: two parents of opposite and complimentary gender. God designed it that way. I am acutely aware that in life, things don't always work out the way God planned it. I know that children are conceived every day, and some of them are born and die before they are allowed to live, some of them who get to live are abandoned and abused, and some grow up in less-than-desirable and even regrettable circumstances. Bad stuff happens and we all have questioned why. I get it. I am not the product of a perfect LDS family (who is?), but I see the model of the perfect family, and I like that idea. I don't see any reason why I shouldn't shoot for that goal (except on days when I am hopeless and discouraged).

My mother married when she was 16, to a man who was unable to participate with her in creating children. So she did what any mentally disabled woman desperate to have a child would do: she found a clinic and got artificial insemination. That man she married, who agreed to this procedure because she promised she would keep it a secret and that the child would be known to their families as his child, had no idea that she would fail to keep that secret within just a few years, and take that child (that would be me, at this point) away to experience new fathers (six in all) and step-siblings and homes. He did not know that he would never really be a part of my life. So yes, I grew up in less-than-desirable circumstances, and I survived. Lots of us survive, with or without religion. But I for one am glad to have had my religion--my faith. Yes, I wonder all the time what it might have been like to have a different family, different childhood. Many times I have wished it could have been different. But I think all we can do is the best that we can with what we've been allotted.

Back to my topic. I want what's best for the children. And I will continue to support any person or organization who will defend the traditional model of marriage and family. Mar­riage is inescapably connected to children and thus family, and family is inescapably connected to society. That's just how I see it.

I'm 38 years old and I've never been married. I may never marry in this life. I may not get to experience the happiness that comes from being one (not in the codependent sense) with another human being. But I will. If I do my best. If I do what God wants me to do, I will be happy. I will have all the happy I can handle.

That's what I believe today. (Ask me tomorrow and I may not feel as confident. That's why I put it in writing.) Enough said.


  1. Well Alex, I'm speechless. But you are beautiful! Thank you. ;)

  2. "I will have all the happy I can handle." Beautiful. All of it . . . beautiful! Thanks, friend.


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