for the record

It’s time to renew my temple recommend. I have an appointment with my bishop this Sunday and I’m a tad nervous about it. Not because I’m afraid I won’t “pass” but because this is my first one-on-one with this particular bishop, and bishops are always curious about adult members who have never married. What kinds of questions is he going to ask me?

My last bishop (who I liked very much, and still do), took the opportunity to ask if I was interested in getting married. I don’t blame him for the question. He was aware of the situation with MJ. I don’t remember if the interview was before or after he knew about our close friendship, but I’m sure people in general are curious. There are probably people in my ward who would like to ask me questions. I don’t date. I don’t bring boyfriends to church.

Just because a person plays the part, attends church, goes to the temple, lives the gospel, doesn’t necessarily mean they are actively pursuing the family that God has in mind. But, for the record, and maybe also to remind myself, I am interested in that eternal-type family. I don’t want to marry anywhere except in a House of the Lord. I’m very sure that the right guy will come along—someone who I will be attracted to, that I can bond with emotionally, who will be my best friend, who I can trust with my innermost thoughts and feelings. And if he doesn’t show up in this life, he better be waiting for me in the next one.

I am no longer interested in actually bearing children. I’m not past the time where I can, but I’m not a youngster anymore, and the thought of being up all night with an infant is just exhausting. But I did very much want to be a mother, so it’s a good thing I got to live with my sister and help raise her children. Heaven knows she’s had plenty and doesn’t mind sharing the responsibility. I’m very grateful I’ve had so many nieces and nephews and friends’ children and primary classes to interact with, because I don’t feel like I’ve missed out. I’m happy being the favorite aunt and the adult that kids like to hang out with.

Of course I’m writing this at a good time, because catch me at another time and Rachel will speak up and tell you that all I want in that moment is a really good snog with a cute girl and consequences be damned. But she won’t tell the bishop that.
 
Thanks to http://photoforyouebaystore.blogspot.com/ for the beautiful temple image.