I've been silent for a while. Not struggling so much, which is nice, but it leaves very little to write about. I have known I need to say something about General Conference, and about President Boyd K Packer's talk. I've needed to and I want to, because I want people to know where I stand. But then I found this guy's post, and I thought that he probably feels exactly about that talk as I feel, and he explained himself so well and so eloquently and with so much faith, that I couldn't help but link to it. It's a good read, and so are all of the comments (the ones that I read...there are almost 200 at this point). So, if you're interested, here's his post.
When you read the talk again, with the topic of pornography in mind, it's obvious that that's what it's mainly about.
There is, of course, one other thing I'd like to add. I can change. You can change. The atonement of Jesus Christ makes change possible, if we invite its healing influence into our lives. My nature can be changed so that I can experience what the Nephites did in Mosiah chapter 5: "...the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually."
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A person can not change their sexual orientation they can just not act on it. You as someone who is bisexual? can choose not to be with a woman but your desires remain.
ReplyDeleteAnon: I agree, a *person* may not be able to change what he or she feels or desires, but God can change you. It's happened many, many times. Just not to me...yet.
ReplyDeleteI think desires can change. I think this b/c my desires HAVE changed. and no i'm not gay - but Desires, in and of themselves, can change.
ReplyDeleteAnd Amen to it is b/c of the Atonement. If my heart and wounds can be healed (and I feel they have been) then a lot of things can be healed.
=)
I like the scripture where they talk about Christ succoring people in their trials so that they can stand at the last day and testify of Christ that He gave them strength and helped them and did not abandon them.
I haven't always enjoyed that idea as well as I do right now (I generally prefer to have my trials removed the way I need and want them removed). But I am happy that I can be one of the people who say I know He lives because I feel Him right next to me (helping me through my trials, even though they're not taken away they way I thought I wanted) ;)
"I can change. You can change. The atonement of Jesus Christ makes change possible, if we invite its healing influence into our lives."
ReplyDeleteI can testify that this is true. Before I came to truly understand the atonement and God's love for us, I was a self-loathing, closeted, very unhappy person. Part of my coming-out process involved realizing that God loves me no matter what; that I am his child and he will always love me and be there for me. Understanding His love changed me into a better person, one that could accept myself for who I am. Its healing influence has (or at least, is in the process of) brought me new life. I pray that it will change others as well, especially those that condemn gay people with such hate and vitriol.
alex: you rock. gay or not.
ReplyDeletei've been sitting here for a few minutes trying to think of something positive and encouraging to say without sounding like i have no clue as to what you are going through. but i'm worried that i'll do just that, and i don't want to seem ignorant.
so, i'll just say--keep the faith. know that people support you.
alex, feel free to delete my comment, I am not ready to out myself as atheist and burn bridges in the process.
ReplyDeleteI used to be on the "gays are immoral/that immorality can be corrected/just don't act on it/you threaten families/ya'all have an evil gay agenda" camp because of years of religious indoctrination, 40 to be exact.
I now think for myself with my very own brain (I know what a concept) and actually the answer is no anonymous, why should anyone not love another human being just because of your fear, bigotry, guilt and rules you want to impose on the rest...I can't believe I ever believed all that.
See Alex, sorry I am baaaad :)
I have a lot of respect for gays who still believe in a god that would treat them as his lesser children.
And I am very heterosexual.
Anon2: I don't delete comments unless they're spam. All opinions welcome. As long as they're nice.
ReplyDeleteI don't in any way consider myself (or anyone else, for that matter) "lesser" in God's eyes. He loves us all. He gave us our struggles. He knows better than I do what I needed to get through this life triumphantly. My struggle is not harder or less important than anyone else's. It's just mine. And you know, on good days, I'm grateful for it.
@ Anon 1 or 2: Do you think a person who grew up with 100% hetrosexual behaviors, thoughts, desires etc... could morph into a bisexual by entertaining homosexual thoughts, talk, behavior and entertainment? The answer is absolutely and most people don't grow up 100% hetrosexual. The truth is we can influence our sexual orientation by our choices.
ReplyDeleteDo you still feel the same way about this talk? I am still angry about it. I haven't been to the temple since this talk. I remember how completely hopeless I felt when I heard his words. But, once I finally came out of that bad place I was in, I had decided to fight for a place for gays in the church.
ReplyDelete