symptoms of codependency

I was reading back in my journal and found this list I made three years ago. Of course, none of these currently apply to me now, since I'm not enamored by anyone. ;) But it is somewhat sobering to read through such a list and look at the person you once were.

My symptoms of codependency (taken from Melody Beattie’s Codependent No More):

• I allow myself to be manipulated by other people’s emotions.


• I am often hostile toward my mother, and toward others who I feel are trying to control me.


• I feel responsible for people’s feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, wants, needs, well-being, lack of well-being, etc.


• I feel anxiety, pity and guilt when others have a problem, and I feel compelled to help people solve their problems.


• I anticipate others’ needs, and I wonder why others don’t do the same for me.


• I do things for others that I don’t really want to do.


• I try to please others instead of myself.


• I feel different from everyone else.


• I fear rejection, or that people will leave me.


• I am afraid of making mistakes/I expect myself to do things perfectly/I am rarely satisfied with what I accomplish.


• I have difficulty making decisions.


• I have a lot of “shoulds.”


• I believe that some people (men) couldn’t possibly love me.


• I settle for being needed.


• I tell myself that circumstances are not as bad as they are.


• I tend to get compulsive about spending.


• I tend to rearrange my schedule around the person I am interested in.


• I lose interest in the things I like to do.


• I wonder if I will ever find true love.


• I ask for what I want and need without just saying it.


• I tend to say things either to please or to provoke.


• I say I won’t tolerate things from people, but then my tolerance level gradually increases until I allow things I said I wouldn’t.


• I lack trust in myself and in others.


• I’m extremely responsible.


• Sometimes I find it difficult to feel close to people.


• Sometimes I find it difficult to have fun and be spontaneous.


• I tend to stay loyal to my companions even when they continue to hurt me.


• I’m often confused about the nature of the problem.


• I’ve gone through periods of feeling lethargic, depressed, withdrawn and isolated.


• When I am involved with someone, I tend to neglect my other friends and responsibilities.