crossroads

(C) by http://www.martin-liebermann.de
Sometimes you just feel a special connection to a person. You may not know why at first, but it’s there and it’s undeniable. I think the Lord has His purposes in giving us those feelings, or maybe they come from some other connection formed in the life before this one. I have always been pretty sensitive to such feelings. The Lord knows this about me and so does the adversary. I think what the adversary does is misdirect those feelings and confuse me into believing they are feelings of attraction, because mostly I feel these kinds of connections to women in my life. So, because I feel drawn to a certain individual, instead of trying to see it as the Lord would see it, I think, I’m attracted to her. I need to pursue this friendship and get to know her better - not because of some plan that the Lord has in mind, but because I want a girlfriend. And I doubt that that was what He had in mind at all.

I guess I’m just not in sync with the Lord’s will, and I haven’t had much desire to be. I’ve just wanted to do my own thing, and it’s really not getting me anywhere. So maybe it’s time to do something different.

Let’s take, for example, Dolores, who I met at church on Sunday. I sat behind her and her husband in Sunday school. I noticed her because a) she was pretty, and b) she was unfamiliar - two valid reasons for noticing someone. I kept looking at her. I could see her in profile, mostly, and I liked the way she looked. I wondered who she was - if they were visiting or new to our ward. I wondered, if they had just moved in, would I get a chance to know her? Would I like her? Would she like me? Subconsciously, now that I recall the thoughts, I wanted very much for us to know and like each other. For some reason I really wanted that, even though I’d never met her before.

So then relief society started and she was introduced to the class, and I discovered that she is my neighbor. They just moved into the house behind us, which has been vacant for a while. She’s pregnant and due in the next couple of weeks. I spoke to her after the meeting and introduced myself. I wanted her to know that I was her neighbor, and that I am friendly and helpful and am interested in being her friend. She seemed friendly too.
Now I have to wonder, what is the reason for the special connection I felt? Why did I feel drawn toward her? What kind of interaction does Heavenly Father have planned for us? Did she feel the same thing I felt? What does Heavenly Father want me to do with these feelings?

At this point, my natural tendency is to decide how to channel these feelings. I can either brush them away as coincidental and insignificant, treat her as I would treat any one of my other neighbors, and never think of the draw again. Or I could go to the other extreme and think about her, obsess about her, fantasize and try and be her special and exclusive friend and bond with her emotionally.

Or, for once, I could try being sensitive to the promptings of the Spirit and ask Heavenly Father what He has planned for us. I don’t think those initial feelings are insignificant. I think they mean something. This time, I’d like to find out what they mean. There could be a really meaningful friendship in my future.