why I love gmail

I switched from Hotmail a while ago - maybe as much as a year ago - I don't remember. Gmail is much more efficient with the spam. But I kind of miss poking fun at these non-English-speaking email marketers, who come up with the greatest phrases to try and get me to buy sexually enhancing prescription drugs from them:

subject: You acted insane, agree?

We are the only store wich gives this great deal!

When you have problems with your male function, nothing can hold your self-respect at the level above zero.

Stop the nightmare! Resolve this problem in Minutes! Your robustness in bed will amaze her after The First pilule you've popped.

Hurry to try, while on discounts!

I have to admit, the subject line got my attention. But that last line is my favorite.

this calls for a sacrifice

I'm not big into television anymore. I used to be, in high school, but it's been a long time since I scheduled my evenings around what was on TV. Since fall began, I've enjoyed watching this show called FlashForward. It’s been interesting, and captivating enough to rival my old favorite, Alias. Last week’s episode revealed that one of the main characters, a female FBI agent, is a lesbian. I had wondered about her. They had thrown out enough hints to make one wonder, but I wasn’t sure how much attention they were going to give this particular storyline. Turns out, they’re giving it plenty. Way too much for prime time TV, in my opinion. It was more than my sister wanted to see, and way more than she would have liked her children to see. One of them happened to come into the room when the first girl/girl kiss happened.

And I.can’t.seem.to.stop.thinking.about.it.

I know why. Because now I have a decision to make. My sister has already announced that she regretfully won’t be watching the show anymore. And I know I shouldn’t watch any more of it either. But the pull is so strong…

things people ask me

Do you date?

I do. I go out with guys on occasion. The last occasion was this one. I go out with girlfriends (friends who are girls) more often. I went out, on a date, with a girl once. That was a mistake. The last few times I have gone out with guys was when a friend set me up, which is fine. I don’t mind it. But for me, dating is awkward. It’s hard for me to relax and have fun, but I do try. And I haven’t given up completely. I sort of feel the same way Amy does about it.

Do you want to get married?

Because I have faith in God, I know that he has a plan for me. I know he has blessings waiting for me that he will grant in his own time. I’m pretty sure that one of these blessings is a happy and fulfilling companionship with a man. I hope to be able to be in the right place at the right time so that he can grant it. So sure, if my Father in heaven knows that I can be happy with a husband, and he wants to place me in the way of finding one, I’m willing. I’ll trust Him. I realize it won’t be easy to accept or to commit to, but I will try. With His help, I will succeed.

Do you see yourself married someday?

Yes, I actually can see that. I’ve pictured it, and it seems nice.

Do you make yourself available?

That’s an interesting question, because it depends on what the inquirer means by making myself available. When I was in my teens and twenties—even 30s—I did all of the things one is “supposed” to do if she wants to find a husband. I went out with groups of friends of mixed gender, I attended social things, like church and school and parties. I tried dances, formal events like Homecoming, taking the reins and asking the guys out myself, LDS singles wards, singles conferences, singles web sites, flirting, accepting blind dates...you name it, I might have tried it (as long as it stayed within the boundaries of my morals). I didn’t stick my head in the sand or wait for Prince Charming to ride up on his white stallion. I didn’t lock myself in my room. I was quite social. I’m not so much anymore. I suppose all that activity gets old after a while. At least it did for me. I still do things with friends, and I talk to people in the grocery store, and I work side by side with the men in the temple every week, and go to church on Sundays, and to church activities. So I think I’ve made myself available, but I have never worn a T-shirt that reads “I need a husband.” Maybe I need to get one.

Have you ever passed up an opportunity to be married?

No. I could have secured myself a boyfriend by pretending I could feel what I really didn’t feel and by losing a good friend who had a mad crush on him, but I didn’t do it. No one has ever been close enough to me to propose and be serious about it.

Are you happy?

Depends on the day, but yes, for the most part. I love my family and I’m glad I have them. I love my medication. I love the gospel. All three contribute to my happiness. I’m not the kind of single LDS girl that sits and wallows in the misery of not being married while belonging to a church that’s all about marriage and family. I have a family, and I have lots of children. I don’t have everything I want, but who does?

5 people Rachel wouldn't mind...blah, blah, blah

I want to play too, naturally (see previous post). I can think of lots of people I'd like to get stuck with, but I'll stay with the five. It'll save me a lot of time.

This may surprise you:

Tiburon

She's hilarious, she's sexay, and I never get to hang out with her. I think we'd have a blast.

Arianne

It'd be an afternoon she would never forget. ;)

Alanis Morissette, musician

She's luscious, brilliant, crazy and entertaining. We could talk for days. And I'd kiss her if she was okay with it.

Mia Kirshner, actress

I admit, there wouldn't be a lot of talking with this one. I don't know if I'd be interested in anything she'd have to say. But I know what we'd do instead.

Ellen Degeneres, comedian

Because she's an idiot and she makes me laugh.

5 people I wouldn't mind being trapped in an elevator with

With this post I accept being tagged. I say I wouldn't mind, because just the thought of being in an enclosed space like an elevator would require a special individual to keep my mind off of it. And as stated in Tiburon's post, I would prefer being with these people one at a time, not all at once in the elevator together. So here they are, in no particular order.

Jason Bateman, actor

I think he would make me laugh, and be charming, and I would so enjoy looking at him. And I wouldn't mind if he held my hand when I pretended to be afraid.

Sheri Dew
businesswoman, author and spiritual giant

I would so enjoy talking to her. I wouldn't care how long we had to stay in that elevator.

Jane Austen, authoress

I would pick her brain. About writing, about life in the time when she lived, about a lot of things. Nevermind that merely being in an elevator would probably kill her. Again.

Chaim Potok, writer

The man was brilliant. I would ask him questions and listen to him talk.

Shawn Colvin, musician

She and her guitar could entertain me all day long.

random thoughts

In one of my dreams last night, I was a guy—like a college guy, hanging out with a group of friends. Among these friends were two girls, and each wanted to be my choice. I found it very flattering, but stressful, because I had to choose one. And I did. And the one I didn’t choose sort of faded away. I began to do everything with the one I chose. We became exclusive, and all of the friends accepted it. I don’t know what it means, but I enjoyed it. A lot. I don’t really want to be a guy though. I used to, when I had step brothers, and I wanted to fit in. But I don’t anymore. I can accept my gender now.

MJ was at church yesterday. I never know when she’s going to appear, and I think she likes that. She mingled with people, but she ignored me. I watched her, tried to get her to look at me, but she wouldn’t. I think that sucks rocks. Is it so hard to wave, to smile? I don’t require much these days—just acknowledgement. I hate to be ignored.

Thanks to the rest of you, for not ignoring me.

pet peeve #3

Shallow pockets.

Every new pair of jeans you buy has a flaw, I guess. And you learn to live with it. But until you're accustomed to the flaw, it's just something you must endure.

I like to put my hands in the front pockets of my pants. I keep my keys in there, on the right side. I hardly ever use the back pockets, but the front ones are handy for many things. They're a good place to tuck my hands when I don't know what else to do with them. So you can imagine my frustration when I buy a good pair of pants that fit and flatter, only to find that the pockets are shallow. A front pocket should be deep enough to hold the keys without them falling out, and enough to cover the whole hand, up to the wrist. (I don't like the thumb sticking out, but that's just me.) The pockets on these jeans cover my fingers, up to the knuckles of my hands. And I have small hands. So now I have a pair of jeans with useless pockets. But they look good. Maybe I could wear a fanny pack. ;)

M*A*S*H

Remember this game? With that little folded paper and all the choices inside? I truly didn't know it had a name, but apparently it does. I couldn't resist. I even put duds in my choices, and still got some good stuff.

At this point you'll have to scroll...this embedded code has a bunch of ambiguous space...)

		I will marry Jude Law.
		After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Hawaii in our fabulous Shack.
		We will have 6 kid(s) together.
		Our family will zoom around in a blue Jaguar.
		I will spend my days as a secretary, and live happily ever after.