best of confession booth #6

I would never recommend that anyone go and read Mindi's Confession Booth. It's pretty much R-rated. But like an R-rated movie I simply must see, I like to skip over the nastiness and pick out the stuff that makes me laugh. I'm like one of those Cleanflicks employees who will remove the bad stuff you don't want to see so that you can enjoy the "rest" of the movie. I hereby give you:

best of confession booth #6

I haven't shaved my legs in a month and a half.

I HATE GREG OLSEN PAINTINGS!!!!

I think that I am going to die a virgin. And am jaded enough to believe I won't be missing out.

I sometimes think about what it would be like if my in-law's died and left us all their money.

I sometimes "embellish" things to one particular friend who is known as the neighborhood tell all. I love to see what gets twisted. I especially love when it gets back to me.

I ate a whole bag of Sweetheart large valentine's hearts over the weekend....I am going through sugar withdrawals. I think I will probably make my dentist rich this year. I think I am going to go buy another bag.

Mormons scare me.

I have eaten way too many no bake cookies. I always do when I make them, yet I continue to make them. On the bright side everything is moving along down there as it should be because of them.

I have done nothing but eat cookies, watch my tivo, and read these comments today.

Since my husband is sitting at work reading this, could you please ask him to bring home dinner?

I accidentally chipped the paint on the door of my husband's brand new car. I colored the chip in with a Sharpie.

I ate some dog jerky treat thing & actually liked it.

I bought another bag of Sweethearts. I will eat the whole thing probably....Why do I LOVE such a disgusting candy? After this I may have to become bulimic, or anorexic, or HCGic...

I tell people I'm 37, when I'm really 45.

I had a secret credit card. Then my husband died. I guess he found about it then.

Hey 5:16 yesterday. You didn't eat the whole first bag of sweethearts. I had 3.

Someone at work is stealing my peanut butter. I can't eat from that jar anymore.

I've sat here this morning for the past hour glued to my computer screen. I have also eaten almost an entire box of froot loops while reading. I can't seem to stop either behavior.

i hate when people say kthx or just sayin. it was funny the first time.

After reading these confessions, going grocery shopping is totally different. Really makes you look at people in a new light...

I am finding this very distracting as I am trying to get my Sharing Time for Sunday together.

I like sandwiches.

My husband is a jack ass.

It's 11:30pm and my dogs are barking outside . . . I hope it really annoys my neighbors!